Sara Dobson
Rachel Henwood - Freelance WriterSomething amusing
August 11th 2008 01:30
My Friend sent me this in an email. It was amusing so I thought I would share it with you.
PREGNANCY
• 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
• 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
• 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
PREPARING FOR BIRTH
• 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
• 2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
• 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
THE LAYETTE
• 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
• 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
• 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
WORRIES
• 1st baby: At the first sign of distress—a whimper, a frown—you pick up the baby.
• 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
• 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
PACIFIER
• 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
• 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
• 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
DIAPERING
• 1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
• 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
• 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
ACTIVITIES
• 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
• 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
• 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
GOING OUT
• 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
• 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
• 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
AT HOME
• 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
• 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
• 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
SWALLOWING COINS
• 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
• 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
• 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
PREGNANCY
• 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
• 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
• 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
PREPARING FOR BIRTH
• 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
• 2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
• 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
THE LAYETTE
• 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
• 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
• 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
WORRIES
• 1st baby: At the first sign of distress—a whimper, a frown—you pick up the baby.
• 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
• 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
PACIFIER
• 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
• 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
• 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
DIAPERING
• 1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
• 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
• 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
ACTIVITIES
• 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
• 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
• 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
GOING OUT
• 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
• 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
• 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
AT HOME
• 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
• 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
• 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
SWALLOWING COINS
• 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
• 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
• 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
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