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Most couples are thrilled when they find out they are going to have a baby. If it is their first, they often spend nine months reading all the books about being a good parent, and researching the best baby products to buy. As the months go by the excitement builds, as time draws nearer to meeting the new family member.

It is supposed to be one of the happiest times in a woman’s life right? Not for the one in seven women that suffer postnatal depression. I was lucky that I did not suffer from it myself; the baby blues yes, but post natal is completely different.

I have been thinking about his a lot over the last few weeks, after a friend confessed that she had been suffering from it for over a year. She told me that for the first two weeks of her baby’s life she could not stand to be near him. Every time he cried, she cried, because she did not want to go to him. She gave up breast-feeding within three months because she did not want to be so close. It was diagnosed early on and she was given medication, but sometimes I wonder if the bonding has already gone wrong by this time.

I read somewhere that a mother needs to hold and bond with her baby in the first three days after the birth or the mother child attachment can go wrong. I always thought he was a bit of a whinging child, but now I see the whole situation in a new light. I wonder if the child can feel that the attachment is not what it should be and whinges because he wants his mothers attention. Creating a cycle in which mum finds it hard to be with someone that whines so much.

I was in shock for several days after I heard her story because I did not see the signs, none of us did. She chose to suffer in silence. It is common for people not to talk about postnatal depression for fear of being judged.

It is time the stigma surrounding depression is removed. It is time we stopped judging women who are not coping perfectly with the stress of birth and following weeks of sleeplessness.

Symptoms
The Beyond Blue website, outlines the signs that someone may be suffering from depression (of any kind including postnatal) as follows:

• moodiness that is out of character
• increased irritability and frustration
• finding it hard to take minor personal criticisms
• spending less time with friends and family
• loss of interest in food, sex, exercise or other pleasurable activities
• being awake throughout the night
• increased alcohol and drug use
• staying home from work or school
• increased physical health complaints like fatigue or pain
• being reckless or taking unnecessary risks (e.g. driving fast or dangerously)
• slowing down of thoughts and actions

Recovery
The sooner it is diagnosed and treated, the sooner and more effectively, a person is likely to recover. If you suspect that, either you or a friend is suffering from any kind of depression check out the BeyondBlue website for resources including a list of health professionals who specialise in depression.

Another thing keep an eye on dad. A recent US study showed that fathers of nine month olds are twice as likely to suffer from depression than other men. Depressed dads are less likely to read to their toddler causing language delays. Babies whose dads are depressed two months after birth are likely to show behavioural problems by three years of age.
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