Sara Dobson
Rachel Henwood - Freelance WriterBuilding your childs self esteem
August 31st 2008 11:35
Self-esteem is about liking yourself; it makes you feel as if you are a worthwhile person. It is about knowing you have a place in the world, that you are an important member of your family.
Why is self-esteem important?
Having a healthy self-esteem is an important part of psychological functioning. If a child has good self-esteem, they tend to value themselves, and have pride in their achievements. They are less likely to bow to peer pressure and participate in activities (such as drug taking or smoking) that are detrimental to their health.
How do you help your child build healthy self-esteem?
The most important thing for a child, is knowing that the most important people in their lives, (their parents), love and respect them for who they are.
Below are some ideas to help your child build a healthy sense of self-esteem:
• Communication – Listen to your child’s worries or concerns without judging them for feeling a certain way. Talking to a child about their thoughts and feelings is a good way to build an emotional bond with your child, which also helps them build confidence and independence.
• Commitment – A child needs at least one adult who is committed and available to them long term. You may think this is obvious, but feeding and clothing children alone is not enough. They need to know that you will always be there for them, and always on their side.
• Keep criticism to a minimum. Children learn from positive reinforcement rather than punishment.
• Tell your child you love them every day. Children really need to hear this, you cannot expect them to be sure of your love just because you are a parent and you feed them. Remember to give them cuddles and kisses. If you have to discipline your child, make sure it is the clear that it is the behaviour you don’t like, not them.
• Empathise with your child – If your child compares himself or herself unfavourably with a friend or sibling, for example “why can’t I run fast like my brother”, tell them “yes running is a special talent for your brother, and you have a special talent in writing”. So that your child learns, everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
• Support your child when they are trying something new – Resist the urge to jump in and take over if your child is frustrated when trying to learn a new task, it fosters dependence and reduces their confidence.
• Be a good role model – By behaving in a loving respectful way towards others, your children also learn appropriate social behaviours.
Nurturing children into well-balanced confident adults takes time. Parents and other carers play a big role in developing a child’s self-esteem, by respecting them, listening to their opinions, and spending quality time with them.
Why is self-esteem important?
Having a healthy self-esteem is an important part of psychological functioning. If a child has good self-esteem, they tend to value themselves, and have pride in their achievements. They are less likely to bow to peer pressure and participate in activities (such as drug taking or smoking) that are detrimental to their health.
How do you help your child build healthy self-esteem?
The most important thing for a child, is knowing that the most important people in their lives, (their parents), love and respect them for who they are.
Below are some ideas to help your child build a healthy sense of self-esteem:
• Communication – Listen to your child’s worries or concerns without judging them for feeling a certain way. Talking to a child about their thoughts and feelings is a good way to build an emotional bond with your child, which also helps them build confidence and independence.
• Commitment – A child needs at least one adult who is committed and available to them long term. You may think this is obvious, but feeding and clothing children alone is not enough. They need to know that you will always be there for them, and always on their side.
• Keep criticism to a minimum. Children learn from positive reinforcement rather than punishment.
• Tell your child you love them every day. Children really need to hear this, you cannot expect them to be sure of your love just because you are a parent and you feed them. Remember to give them cuddles and kisses. If you have to discipline your child, make sure it is the clear that it is the behaviour you don’t like, not them.
• Empathise with your child – If your child compares himself or herself unfavourably with a friend or sibling, for example “why can’t I run fast like my brother”, tell them “yes running is a special talent for your brother, and you have a special talent in writing”. So that your child learns, everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
• Support your child when they are trying something new – Resist the urge to jump in and take over if your child is frustrated when trying to learn a new task, it fosters dependence and reduces their confidence.
• Be a good role model – By behaving in a loving respectful way towards others, your children also learn appropriate social behaviours.
Nurturing children into well-balanced confident adults takes time. Parents and other carers play a big role in developing a child’s self-esteem, by respecting them, listening to their opinions, and spending quality time with them.
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