Prue DeAraugo
RyanaSeperation Anxiety
August 20th 2008 01:22
I have just taken my first step in returning to the workforce. I got some temporary work this week, just a few days to ease me back into work, while I continue to look for a part time job.
Anyway, work was fine the worst part was dropping my daughter off at day care. I knew it was not going to be easy. I went to the childcare centre a few days before hand to let her play and see how she liked it.
At first I thought it would be a breeze. I put her on the floor and she crawled off to play. Sweet I thought and went off into the office to do the paperwork. Within five minutes, I could hear her screaming one of the carers decided to include her in the game. She was inconsolable, and I was also fighting back tears.
They gave her to me to calm down (because I was so distressed), but they pointed out to me that kids do cry when they first come into care sometimes for 10 or 20 minutes and the staff are trained to deal with that.
Truth is the first time your baby is separated from his or her carers is going to be tough all round. Separation anxiety is common for babies and small children it starts from around 6-8 months of age and lasts until around 3 years.
What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety occurs when a child is old enough to realise there are people that provide them with all their needs in terms of love comfort and nourishment, and they know the difference between family and strangers. The child becomes anxious when their carer is not there and cries to bring them back.
What can you do about it?
There are a ways you can make separation easier for your child.
• Spend some time with your child at childcare providers to get them used to it.
• Say goodbye to your child. It is tempting to sneak away while your child is distracted, but don’t, this will just make them distrust you. Try not to show any anxiety as you say goodbye as your child will notice it.
• Arrive 15 minutes ahead of time to help your child settle in before you leave them.
• Make sure they have a comforter such as a dummy or wrap from home.
• Accept that it is going to be hard and it takes time for a child to settle into care.
• Try and keep care arrangements as consistent as possible, a child will find it hard to settle if care options are always changing.
• Watch your child for ongoing signs of distress. If they have not settled in within a few weeks, it may be that the arrangement is not the best option for your child, and you may need to review the situation.
I did all the above, but she still cried when I left, I was also fighting back tears. You need to do it though, because she did not cry all day and apparently, she loved the singing and the music activities, so she had a good time in the end. And I got to see photos of what she was up to during the day.
I am thinking to myself, next step is school then she will be leaving home. I wish she would stay my little baby forever.
Anyway, work was fine the worst part was dropping my daughter off at day care. I knew it was not going to be easy. I went to the childcare centre a few days before hand to let her play and see how she liked it.
At first I thought it would be a breeze. I put her on the floor and she crawled off to play. Sweet I thought and went off into the office to do the paperwork. Within five minutes, I could hear her screaming one of the carers decided to include her in the game. She was inconsolable, and I was also fighting back tears.
They gave her to me to calm down (because I was so distressed), but they pointed out to me that kids do cry when they first come into care sometimes for 10 or 20 minutes and the staff are trained to deal with that.
Truth is the first time your baby is separated from his or her carers is going to be tough all round. Separation anxiety is common for babies and small children it starts from around 6-8 months of age and lasts until around 3 years.
What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety occurs when a child is old enough to realise there are people that provide them with all their needs in terms of love comfort and nourishment, and they know the difference between family and strangers. The child becomes anxious when their carer is not there and cries to bring them back.
What can you do about it?
There are a ways you can make separation easier for your child.
• Spend some time with your child at childcare providers to get them used to it.
• Say goodbye to your child. It is tempting to sneak away while your child is distracted, but don’t, this will just make them distrust you. Try not to show any anxiety as you say goodbye as your child will notice it.
• Arrive 15 minutes ahead of time to help your child settle in before you leave them.
• Make sure they have a comforter such as a dummy or wrap from home.
• Accept that it is going to be hard and it takes time for a child to settle into care.
• Try and keep care arrangements as consistent as possible, a child will find it hard to settle if care options are always changing.
• Watch your child for ongoing signs of distress. If they have not settled in within a few weeks, it may be that the arrangement is not the best option for your child, and you may need to review the situation.
I did all the above, but she still cried when I left, I was also fighting back tears. You need to do it though, because she did not cry all day and apparently, she loved the singing and the music activities, so she had a good time in the end. And I got to see photos of what she was up to during the day.
I am thinking to myself, next step is school then she will be leaving home. I wish she would stay my little baby forever.
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