Prue DeAraugo
RyanaSlow Down You're Going Too Fast
January 5th 2007 02:33
Hello and Happy New Year!
I want to talk about what I call “child-centered parenting” but first I would like to preface what I’m about to write with the fact that I believe parenting to be the most difficult and rewarding job there is bar none. When I hear people say, “I just stay home with the kids,” or “I’m just a stay-at-home Mom,” I want to shout JUST, please do not minimize the most important job in the world. It is so easy to do because there are so many out there that would have us believe that the only REAL job is one that pays a lot of money.
Now while it is important to have money as it serves us to provide the things we need to sustain life, it is by no means the purpose of our lives. I believe the fast-paced speed with which we live contributed to this problem of how we see ourselves and what we value. We seem to value only that which is bigger, faster, better. While technology is great and has done so much good for our society, it has also caused us to lose sight of the miracles of life. Our Children are the true miracles of our life, but if we do not slow down to see it, they will become just another “thing” we have to do.
Technology was supposed to create less work for humankind by reducing the time for us to complete menial tasks, and hence creating more leisure time, but hey does anybody have any extra time out there? I mean all I hear and see is how people are just rushed to complete basic household tasks. I mean we have microwaves, cell phones, digital cameras, the internet, MP3 players, and don’t get me wrong, I’m secretly a techno-nerd, but all of these conveniences have not simplified our lives. It has only increased our ability to do more in less time. We seem to be going faster and faster and many get caught on the treadmill of life only to fall off or feel inadequate for not being able to keep up.
And of course big business has capitalized on all of this, but the average household, if there is such a thing, has to have two people working to make ends meet. This just causes more of the same. A vicious cycle is created of parents working to provide the things their children need, like food, clothing, and daycare. It becomes, am “I working to pay for daycare, or leaving my child at daycare to work?” In either case, daycare is expensive and in the end we are left feeling that something is amiss. Many don’t have the luxury of extended families as in the past to provide a helping hand and those that do are rare. Families have moved to places that are affordable and often isolated themselves from the very people that could help them. This is part of the problem. So we are working more, connecting less, and expecting more quickly than ever before, and we wonder why we are seeing all the problems with our children.
I would like to suggest that our children are miracles and have so many gifts to provide the world, but we may never see these miracles and gifts for what they are unless we can slow down and simplify our lives. I believe that our children are spiritual beings that have so much to teach us if we will only listen.
Love and Gratitude,
George
I want to talk about what I call “child-centered parenting” but first I would like to preface what I’m about to write with the fact that I believe parenting to be the most difficult and rewarding job there is bar none. When I hear people say, “I just stay home with the kids,” or “I’m just a stay-at-home Mom,” I want to shout JUST, please do not minimize the most important job in the world. It is so easy to do because there are so many out there that would have us believe that the only REAL job is one that pays a lot of money.
Now while it is important to have money as it serves us to provide the things we need to sustain life, it is by no means the purpose of our lives. I believe the fast-paced speed with which we live contributed to this problem of how we see ourselves and what we value. We seem to value only that which is bigger, faster, better. While technology is great and has done so much good for our society, it has also caused us to lose sight of the miracles of life. Our Children are the true miracles of our life, but if we do not slow down to see it, they will become just another “thing” we have to do.
Technology was supposed to create less work for humankind by reducing the time for us to complete menial tasks, and hence creating more leisure time, but hey does anybody have any extra time out there? I mean all I hear and see is how people are just rushed to complete basic household tasks. I mean we have microwaves, cell phones, digital cameras, the internet, MP3 players, and don’t get me wrong, I’m secretly a techno-nerd, but all of these conveniences have not simplified our lives. It has only increased our ability to do more in less time. We seem to be going faster and faster and many get caught on the treadmill of life only to fall off or feel inadequate for not being able to keep up.
And of course big business has capitalized on all of this, but the average household, if there is such a thing, has to have two people working to make ends meet. This just causes more of the same. A vicious cycle is created of parents working to provide the things their children need, like food, clothing, and daycare. It becomes, am “I working to pay for daycare, or leaving my child at daycare to work?” In either case, daycare is expensive and in the end we are left feeling that something is amiss. Many don’t have the luxury of extended families as in the past to provide a helping hand and those that do are rare. Families have moved to places that are affordable and often isolated themselves from the very people that could help them. This is part of the problem. So we are working more, connecting less, and expecting more quickly than ever before, and we wonder why we are seeing all the problems with our children.
I would like to suggest that our children are miracles and have so many gifts to provide the world, but we may never see these miracles and gifts for what they are unless we can slow down and simplify our lives. I believe that our children are spiritual beings that have so much to teach us if we will only listen.
Love and Gratitude,
George
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Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Well done, George, for addressing an important issue in this so-called fast paced society that we find ourselves in.
I made a conscious decision when we started a family, to take as much time off work as would be necessary to give our child(ren) the best possible start in life.
Money isn't everything ... it doesn't even come close.
A.H.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Nice post. I'm a stay at home mum first and foremost. I write from home to make extra cash but at the moment it's more like pocket money because I honestly could not devote the time to it ( I have 3 kids aged 5; 3; and 1).
My problem is not that I devalue the importance of raising children and being here it's more that before I was a parent I used to do 100 different things that I do miss. Eventually I may be able to do those things again but maybe not.
I know of people who work part time because the notion of being at home 100% of the time will drive them mad. So they work; a little adult contact; a little time away from the kids creates a healthy balance for them.
I can appreciate that. Personally I don't think I could go out and work. I don't think I'm that organised
In any case, I ramble.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
You're on my bandwagon. Keep it up. We can't have enough voices like yours.
katyzzz
Comment by Hope
Gifted Parenting
Freelance For Life
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Great Post!
I have two children. My first born has cerebral palsy and as soon as she was diagnosed at 18 months, I became an instant stay at home mum. My husband a stay-at-home dad, as she needed full time care... lots of operations ... we have never ever given up and the rewards today are two miracles! She is one of a selct number of about 10 Wheelchair Dancers in Australia pending an overseas visit to compete.
Not bragging (yeah a bit proud)... but my point is this, we had to quit work, resize our living quarters to drop the mortgage and sell the flash cars, in order to be able to devote all our time to her (and her sisters) well being. Initially, we even had to move out into the sticks to afford it, but do you know what? We never suffered a day in our lives because of it and see it as a true blessing!
We were richer for it, no joke. We don't have a new car every two years, or a fancy this or that ... but if we have all those things and no love and appreciation for the miracles that are our children, then what is it all worth anyway? And I don't believe that they can't have good values if they are not raised rich. I know rich kids that are drug addicts.
I am dead against day care and would live in a tent, or caravan park before I left my kids in one just to have a new car every two years ... I am not knocking those who do, it's personal choice and this is an open forum so I'm leaving my opinion...
Yes! Downsize people ..appreciate your kids, listen to them for God's sake, they have so much to teach you ... open your hearts and listen to them ... drop everything else and spend time with them, [slow down, stop even] and hear what they have to say, as you teach them how to function in an insane world of hypocrisy and contradiction, corruption and injustice. Show them the beauty that still exists and how to find it, as well as their own full potentials...
sounds like a song, doesn't it? but they need our encouragement, so little will reward you with so much ... Gosh I may have to do a post myself on this one, George, you've opened a can of worms here! *lol* sorry...
Enjoyable post, thanks...
Lilla
<<>>
Mrs M
Those things come back for you as they get older, trust me, by the time the youngest is 8 you will be free to enjoy your life again... not long, only a few short years my dear... easy whilst you write your memoirs, no?
Comment by George
The Re-Parenting Revolution
for all the kind words. I do appreciate it.
George
Comment by Candice
It's nice to hear your opinion on daycare, stay at home mums etc, especially coming from a guy!
I personally never would put my kids in day care but I'm lucky enough to have extended family nearby. That said, it is getting harder and harder for families to get by on only one income. In some cases, I think parents really do have to put their kids in daycare because they have no alternative.
I think it's sad that it's becoming so difficult for parents to stay home to raise their children. Most women I know who do put their kids in care wouldn't if they didn't feel they had to.
Comment by George
The Re-Parenting Revolution
I totally agree with you and I by no means think that those that use daycare love or care about their children any less.
The problem is the problem. Thanks for commenting on my blog. I appreciate it
George