Prue DeAraugoSurviving NICU
May 5th 2008 04:02
Most women, me included expect to carry their baby for nine months and at the end give birth to a healthy baby, which they will be able to cuddle straight away and take home a few days later. Unfortunately, for some it does not work out like that. About seven percent of babies in Australia are born early (prior to 37 weeks) and for parents the whole experience can be confusing and a very scary. The good news is nine out of ten premmies go on to lead normal healthy lives. A while ago, I wrote about the fright I got to find I was in labour at just 30 weeks, I would now like to share some of my experiences of having a baby in the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) in the hope that it will help other parents that are going through similar experiences.
Nobody can ever be prepared for how stressful and emotionally draining having a premmie is starting from the birth. Babies are born prematurely either because the mother has gone into preterm labour or because there are complications with the pregnancy that means the baby needs to be born early for the sake of the mother’s or the baby’s well being. Often the baby is taken away immediately after the birth before the mother gets a chance to hold it or even hear its cry. On top of this, doctors are explaining what is happening to you and your child medically. Chances are you are very tired especially as in my case I had been awake for almost 2 days before hand. Often you can see your baby within hours but sometimes you will not get a chance to hold them for at least 24 hours. Even then, if your baby needs to be in a humidicrib (incubator) you may only be able to hold them for 20 minutes a day.
What makes it worse is that the baby usually stays in the hospital after you have been discharged which means you have to leave your baby behind. This often coincides with the baby blues the hormonal drop which occurs five days after the birth. Be prepared for floods of tears leaving the hospital.
Some coping mechanisms if you are a parent of a child in the NICU: Try to be there for as many of the baby’s cares as possible. Even if you have to feed your baby through a feeding tube in their humidicrib helps you feel like you are doing what you can for them. If you are only allowed to cuddle them for half an hour a day then do a kangaroo cuddle, which is when you lay the baby against your bare chest. They get to know your smell and you get to bond with your child skin on skin. Ask questions all the time and such as, how is my baby doing today? Have they taken all their feeds? What meds is he/she on? Don’t feel guilty about asking too many questions, and don’t let the nurses intimidate you. It is your baby in the end not theirs.
Most importantly focus on yourself and your baby first. Don’t feel guilty if you do not feel like seeing family and friends. If you know someone that has a child in the NICU don’t be offended if they do not return your calls immediately understand that it is hard for them to be with people who are not going through the same thing as them or have not experienced it before.
Nobody can ever be prepared for how stressful and emotionally draining having a premmie is starting from the birth. Babies are born prematurely either because the mother has gone into preterm labour or because there are complications with the pregnancy that means the baby needs to be born early for the sake of the mother’s or the baby’s well being. Often the baby is taken away immediately after the birth before the mother gets a chance to hold it or even hear its cry. On top of this, doctors are explaining what is happening to you and your child medically. Chances are you are very tired especially as in my case I had been awake for almost 2 days before hand. Often you can see your baby within hours but sometimes you will not get a chance to hold them for at least 24 hours. Even then, if your baby needs to be in a humidicrib (incubator) you may only be able to hold them for 20 minutes a day.
What makes it worse is that the baby usually stays in the hospital after you have been discharged which means you have to leave your baby behind. This often coincides with the baby blues the hormonal drop which occurs five days after the birth. Be prepared for floods of tears leaving the hospital.
Samantha 2 days old
Some coping mechanisms if you are a parent of a child in the NICU: Try to be there for as many of the baby’s cares as possible. Even if you have to feed your baby through a feeding tube in their humidicrib helps you feel like you are doing what you can for them. If you are only allowed to cuddle them for half an hour a day then do a kangaroo cuddle, which is when you lay the baby against your bare chest. They get to know your smell and you get to bond with your child skin on skin. Ask questions all the time and such as, how is my baby doing today? Have they taken all their feeds? What meds is he/she on? Don’t feel guilty about asking too many questions, and don’t let the nurses intimidate you. It is your baby in the end not theirs.
Most importantly focus on yourself and your baby first. Don’t feel guilty if you do not feel like seeing family and friends. If you know someone that has a child in the NICU don’t be offended if they do not return your calls immediately understand that it is hard for them to be with people who are not going through the same thing as them or have not experienced it before.
Samantha 8 months old
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