Prue DeAraugo
RyanaEvery second counts
November 30th 2008 00:01
With today’s economic crisis, many women face the dilemma, “how soon should I return to work?” Adding to this dilemma is countless research studies showing that the amount of time a child spends with its mother is crucial to its future psychological and social development.
So what are the latest theories and how can they be integrated into real life? First, let us think about what these studies are saying when they are talk about the amount of time a mother spends with her child. Should mothers be taking this literally and be staying at home with their child until they reach the age of five? What if the mother is around all the time, but feeling lonely, bored or resentful? Is this really beneficial to the child’s well being?
John Bowlby spent many years researching Attachment Theories, and believes that our attachment styles are established in childhood through the child/caregiver relationship. However, this responsibility does not necessarily need to fall on the mothers shoulders alone. Fathers and other caregivers also play an important role in attachment. Attachment is not just a matter of being there physically, what is most important is the caregiver’s responsiveness and sensitivity to the child’s distress, and providing your child a safe base from which he or she can explore the world. Being emotionally available for your baby is just as important as being physically available.
Which leads to the next question - If a child attends day care, does the mother become less sensitive to his or her needs? According researchers from The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD):
• The link between the number of hours that the child spends in care and the mother’s sensitivity to the child’s need is small.
• There is a greater link between the mothers level of income and education, and the interactions with her child (the higher the level of income and education, the better the interaction with her child).
• There is no evidence that daycare has a negative effect on the child’s development.
There needs to be a compromise between what is best for the mother and the child. It may sound like a cliché but it is important that the time you do spend with your child is quality time. There is no point in being physically present if you are not emotionally present. So make every moment count.
So what are the latest theories and how can they be integrated into real life? First, let us think about what these studies are saying when they are talk about the amount of time a mother spends with her child. Should mothers be taking this literally and be staying at home with their child until they reach the age of five? What if the mother is around all the time, but feeling lonely, bored or resentful? Is this really beneficial to the child’s well being?
John Bowlby spent many years researching Attachment Theories, and believes that our attachment styles are established in childhood through the child/caregiver relationship. However, this responsibility does not necessarily need to fall on the mothers shoulders alone. Fathers and other caregivers also play an important role in attachment. Attachment is not just a matter of being there physically, what is most important is the caregiver’s responsiveness and sensitivity to the child’s distress, and providing your child a safe base from which he or she can explore the world. Being emotionally available for your baby is just as important as being physically available.
Which leads to the next question - If a child attends day care, does the mother become less sensitive to his or her needs? According researchers from The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD):
• The link between the number of hours that the child spends in care and the mother’s sensitivity to the child’s need is small.
• There is a greater link between the mothers level of income and education, and the interactions with her child (the higher the level of income and education, the better the interaction with her child).
• There is no evidence that daycare has a negative effect on the child’s development.
There needs to be a compromise between what is best for the mother and the child. It may sound like a cliché but it is important that the time you do spend with your child is quality time. There is no point in being physically present if you are not emotionally present. So make every moment count.
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